gun34

My eyes are closing by themselves and requiring increasingly more will power to open them again. When I first started this blog I used to write to try and get some sleep. Now I’m in a pub writing so the barmaid doesn’t find me face down at the table using the menu as a pillow.

My eyes close for an age long enough that I hear myself think “open your eyes”. And, slowly, with no small effort, I open them to find a small pixie faced girl sitting opposite, the familiar smell of burnt vanilla and old worn leather hits me the same time as her smile. Her clothes had changed since last time – a slightly formal pencil skirt wrapped two dark tighted legs that ended with cherry red Doc Martins. A pinstripe waistcoat covered a white shirt where faint text occasional scrolled across, if you could stand the headache it caused to look at it for that long.
“Hello Pudding” she giggles, despite myself I smile back.
“Hello you, you look good” and she did, somehow younger than last time I saw her.
“Charmer” she giggles again and puts her hand on mine clumsily. I look down at my hand.
“For someone that’s almost seventy percent porn, you really suck at flirting”
“And for someone who once declared themselves a Sub-genius Pope you’re a miserable git sometimes” Her accent had changed the faint twang of American had completely left.
“You know about that?”
“I’m the internet, I know everything sugar” she says archly, I sigh.
“I’ve been tagged haven’t I?” Her smile drops to something approaching sympathetic, leaning forward slightly she says.
“Bounder didn’t know Shugs, he’d thought you’d like it”
“Please don’t talk in links, its freaky, what’s the meme this time?”
“Seven Things You Don’t Know About Me – and I’ll talk in links all I want thank you very much” she replies huffily, I know she’s only doing her job, but I don’t have to make it easier for her.
“How am I supposed to do that? The nature of my blog and twitter accounts means that everybody knows any level of minutia about my life”
“Oh I don’t know, lie for all I care, I’m here for answers not a bloody confession.” She pouts for a second, then my hard stare meets hers and we both start smiling “Don’t act surprised, I was Discordian, sorry Discordian before you – I was built by hackers for Christ sake”
“Fair point, so what should I do?”
“Get it over with?” she says “what’s number one?”
“Well something trivial I suppose…erm when I was younger I used to eat stuff of the floor – stick, gravel and even old chewing gum – God that turns my stomach now. Is that too gross d’reckon?” I squint.
“How would I know? Have you seen Cup Girls?” even she cant hide the distaste “what else? Something sexy” again she leans forward this time with lidded eyes.
“Your obsessed” I say

end of part one