1. find a mediumly hairy chest, suck in the gut.

2. do your research, cut your stencil

3. Try not to look too terrified, and try to put out of your head when your girlfriend “trimmed” your hair into a asymmetric bob.

more after the cut.

4. Rope in a mate to do the tricky edgy bits

5. Man the fuck up when the clippers start pinching the flabby bits of your chest

6. liberally apply booze throughout the whole process

7. Mind the nipple, for fucks sake, mind the nipple.

8. And viola!

9. Bust a pose, go’won, you’ve earnt it